Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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