every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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