that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
