All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
