So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
