I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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