i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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