im drinking this country out of the recession.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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