Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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