Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
we're so committed to being not committed
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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