Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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