He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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