i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
