if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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