oh god the rape fog is back!
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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