when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I understand Curling. That high.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize