Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
sex in a hospital.. check
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
