Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
