I feel like I'm in dance class right now
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
