i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
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