Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
