dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
