i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
