come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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