Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
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omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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