My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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