The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
