Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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