So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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