Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
