Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
