so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
