The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
