Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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