i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
