ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
