hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
