before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
