so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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