Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
