please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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