Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
