Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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