Little spoons don't ask big questions
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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