so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
