Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
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Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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