girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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