Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Randomize
