I'm so fucking centered right now
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
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I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
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Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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