I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize
