Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
