people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
