This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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