the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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