haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
