Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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