Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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