it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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