he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
