I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
