I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Randomize
